If we fear, why not understand? Written by Julius. , Friday, March 11, 2011 at 12:55 PM, in Labels: lesson.

With permission, I had been glad to tell you guys a story.

Long ago, my friend (let's call him X) got involved with a girl (we will call her Y). They were classmates for some years, together they build a great friendship.

Eventually, Y falls in love with Z but Z already like someone else and soon find himself a girlfriend. Unfortunately, the girlfriend dumped him for another guy. Z suffered a mental breakdown. Y was there cheering on him and Z finally able to somewhat let go of his past. By Grade 12, Z found out that he has fallen in love with Y.

Z, still afraid of relationship decided to go on a try, he confessed. Things were great for two of them but their relationship was not told by many people. Only a selected few know about their relationship. The continuation of undisclosed relationship coupled by Z's being quite popular with girls had cause Y felt insecure. She proceeded to ignore him.

As the consequence, their relationship was never the same. Z no longer hold long conversation with Y and he was confused by her action. This continued until the Z's exam was over. He firstly thought the cold treatment was because of his exam. But it's not, nothing changed and he knows that girl has changed of heart. Z was sad and angry but he decided to let it be.

Many months later, the girl finally let him know the truth, feeling insecure and she decided to make the guy angry so the relationship will end. She thinks it is a better way.

Right, end of story. Now is time for my personal opinion. I think both of them at fault (that is what I told him haha) because the guy's action makes the girl felt that way and at the same time, the girl should voice her fear to him. I think that for a couple should tell us other about what they feel for everything that makes them uncomfortable (maybe not everything but still...well, decide with your own discretion). The guy voiced his fear but the girl in feeling insecure, she did not tell him so.

Why she's feeling insecure? Because that guy said he doesn't know if he can accept another relationship but begged for time. I think it's not enough for the guy to say just that. I do not want you guys to think I am supporting the guys only but I just feel it is unfair for the girl to do that to him.

So, in the end, the guy can only be just friend with the girl. He had moved on but still gotten afraid. Emotional scar is scary and I think everyone knows how. What is not yours, is really just not yours. We can blame this and that but in the end, the finger should point towards ourselves because we did not try to understand each other.

I have my fear toward relationship and I think it is not abnormal, we got to seek improvement to ourselves and must learn from experience so that in future this kind of thing will never happen again.

Well, this is part of life, we won't know until we feel it.