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Yes, it's done and the experiences that filled your life.

My, oh my, didn't update like forever. Well, what to do, since my exam literally used up most of my time. Actually, I still managed to slack a lot despite knowing it is bad to do. I can only accept the fact that my promise to myself is all nothing but illusion.

Throughout the examination period, I struggled a lot. Day and night, I keep thinking various possible questions and also keep asking what the hell was I doing back in the last 6 months and well, all the benefit of time I did not appreciate it. In fact, my laziness gotten worse than last year. Who to be blamed? Myself, of course.

It was really stressful. And for the first time, I felt desperate, seeking air under the water kind of situation. My dad, of course scolded me once knowing that I got panic and all. Mum was upset of me. I do not angry with what they said, I am angry that I didn't do anything better than last year.

Well, the exam had ended, I shall not indulge further. And, ever since ended about a week ago, I learnt many new values. I hope that it will serve as a reminder as I will write it down here.

1) Each of us have different kind of 'face'. We only show a specific 'face' when either you're in trouble or it just happened naturally. In this situation, perhaps, best to treasure that person. Well, 'face' here is in positive note.

2) If you keep eating for friggin' 3 months without exercise, no matter how fit you were, you will grow in weight! Heck, I better start exercise.

3) If you're into relationship, no 1 is important (the face thingie for couple as well, you see what other do not see, best not to hide it). Furthermore, please be clear to each other. If one party unable to understand you, I think you must convey it to him/her. Yes, it's not easy, I know. But there's must some degree of openness. That is what I learn. I wondering myself if I can be open as well.

4) If your partner is treating you like....and didn't acknowledge you to his/her friend. Just end the relationship. Perhaps there is a reasonable reason. So assess the situation. A friend of mine, his girlfriend refused to say he is her boyfriend because it's embarrassing to her, despite agree to go out with him. Really, I am in no position to say anything but in my opinion, my friend suffered. I don't want to see the same occur to my other friend.

5) When in exam period, do eat healthy, spend some time on exercise. Of course, student diligently!

6) All in all, even you feel desperate, feel no energy to carry on, or mental breakdown. Take a breather, talk with your friends and most of all, be positive. I read a very, very interesting article. It was about a 6 year old boy back in the 90s, was diagnosed to have pancreatic cancer. He did not have up and now 21 still surviving and remain positive. But was more importantly, he wrote a note and place somewhere near to Statue of Jesus, praying that Jesus will save other who is suffering cancer. (something like that). The boy's kindness and remain faithful and positive helped him to survive his war. After all, the war ends even without going to war when you already felt defeated.

7) Simply enjoy life and try to refuse to think that any negative complications will affect your life. Heh, it's not easy I know that fully well. But here's what I heard on radio the other day, it says something like in every negative thought, you must counter with a positive one. Brilliant. Simple yet just so easily displaced. I think this is the hardest one for me. I tend to think many situations in my stuffs and I will halt my process if it's negative one. At times, risk should be taken and without feeling regret, we must enjoy life. I should try.

That is all I want to say. I signed up with several activities and events. Some jobs are waiting for me as well. All I should do is focus on them and well, enjoy. Later.



Less than one month, all of us will be doing our exam. Jeez, can you believe that it's already a year since my Intermediate examination and now Part 1.

Well, I haven't prepare fully yet as of now and really wasted a lot of time. Well, I will keep fighting!

And here's the list I would like to do, by chronology order.

1) GAMES! No, really, games. In fact, as soon as I return home, I will play games.

2) Sleep. Sleep until afternoon. Haha probably the first day of my holiday.

3) Vacation!

4) Trips together with friends, maybe?

5) Complete those anime and manga that I haven't done watching/reading. I have packs of them to completed.

6) The books that I have bought years ago, I still haven't complete. Is time to read them. 5 books at least within 3 months? haha

7) Working. I probably gonna work at a pharmacy (Guardian for example) or maybe not. Oh, I will also continue my work as a lyric writer. Feel free to drop by.

8) Completed those promised I made. haha I won't say it here, it will just provide me as a reminder, though.

9) Find the greatest food. It should be completed together with (3) and (4)

10) Soul searching? I think I need to do one. I am lacking of something in my life. Probably to be done before holiday is over. End of it.

Well, I hope I am motivated enough now. Alright, signing off.

If we fear, why not understand?

With permission, I had been glad to tell you guys a story.

Long ago, my friend (let's call him X) got involved with a girl (we will call her Y). They were classmates for some years, together they build a great friendship.

Eventually, Y falls in love with Z but Z already like someone else and soon find himself a girlfriend. Unfortunately, the girlfriend dumped him for another guy. Z suffered a mental breakdown. Y was there cheering on him and Z finally able to somewhat let go of his past. By Grade 12, Z found out that he has fallen in love with Y.

Z, still afraid of relationship decided to go on a try, he confessed. Things were great for two of them but their relationship was not told by many people. Only a selected few know about their relationship. The continuation of undisclosed relationship coupled by Z's being quite popular with girls had cause Y felt insecure. She proceeded to ignore him.

As the consequence, their relationship was never the same. Z no longer hold long conversation with Y and he was confused by her action. This continued until the Z's exam was over. He firstly thought the cold treatment was because of his exam. But it's not, nothing changed and he knows that girl has changed of heart. Z was sad and angry but he decided to let it be.

Many months later, the girl finally let him know the truth, feeling insecure and she decided to make the guy angry so the relationship will end. She thinks it is a better way.

Right, end of story. Now is time for my personal opinion. I think both of them at fault (that is what I told him haha) because the guy's action makes the girl felt that way and at the same time, the girl should voice her fear to him. I think that for a couple should tell us other about what they feel for everything that makes them uncomfortable (maybe not everything but still...well, decide with your own discretion). The guy voiced his fear but the girl in feeling insecure, she did not tell him so.

Why she's feeling insecure? Because that guy said he doesn't know if he can accept another relationship but begged for time. I think it's not enough for the guy to say just that. I do not want you guys to think I am supporting the guys only but I just feel it is unfair for the girl to do that to him.

So, in the end, the guy can only be just friend with the girl. He had moved on but still gotten afraid. Emotional scar is scary and I think everyone knows how. What is not yours, is really just not yours. We can blame this and that but in the end, the finger should point towards ourselves because we did not try to understand each other.

I have my fear toward relationship and I think it is not abnormal, we got to seek improvement to ourselves and must learn from experience so that in future this kind of thing will never happen again.

Well, this is part of life, we won't know until we feel it.


At times I must wonder why certain adults can say since they are older and thus can do better than the younger ones. When in fact, they are not at all, well maybe.

They said children are immature. But when in fact, it's just experiences that grow with you, not your mind.

And, that makes me sick.

Granted, they are better than us. But that doesn't mean we are equally bad. Our level may be different. But that doesn't mean our level is at the lowest rate. The adults can say they can think more ideas and do more benefiting programs but when in fact the younger ones can as well.

The adults are equally irresponsible as to any child will be. So, don't think highly of yourself and give your respect to the younger ones if you want them to respect you in return.

Give and take. That's a real adult.

No. More. Just. No. More.

No more online for more than 2 hours per day

No more manga-ing

No more drama-ing

No more procrastinating

No more song/lyric writing

No more gaming

No more saying tired, tired.

No more saying "I'm sleepy"

No more playing around

Yes, because revision and exam are coming soon.

Now say, I will rock ya!

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